Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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