she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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