Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
