can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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