there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
