dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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