Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
