More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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