Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Houston, we have a squirter
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
