Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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