Apparently you make a good broom.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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