So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
