Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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