You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
