Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
