their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
