Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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