You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
