When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
