I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
