Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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