took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
