Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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