So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
