I cannot find my penis.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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