she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize