I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
