i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
