Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
