he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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