The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just high enough for therapy.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
