The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
