I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
