I'm drive I can fine osifer
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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