so that wasnt chicken after all
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
