he puts the penis in happiness.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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