3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
