i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
