I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
