hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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