Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
