My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
