Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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