if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
