Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
