Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
