At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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