So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
