you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
false alarm, still single
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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