I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
