I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I puked a lego.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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