i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i now understand why vodka
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
