hell yes lets make some ravioli
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She bit a glass in half.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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