so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
